This whole Josh Duggar situation that is running around the internet like a wildfire has got my blood boiling for so many reasons! On Friday when things just got started I was reacting to comments and posting comments about how he is a child molester, etc. I had to pull myself away from the internet for a while (at least things related to this story) and take some deep breaths.
This whole story and situation has forced many feelings I have about the sexual abuse I suffered at my brother who was just 2 years older than me out in the open again. The abuse started when I was 10 and my brother was 12 and it continued for 2 years. My brother stopped at the same age that Josh Duggar supposedly stopped molesting his sisters. (I believe it probably happened past that but something we may never know) I know for a fact that what happened between me and my brother was not normal behavior for teenagers and I know for a fact that Josh Duggar's sisters did not consent to anything that happened between them. I have heard stories that have reported that the youngest victim was 5 years old. In normal sexual exploration at 14 and 15 you usually experiment with other people your age, not a 5 year old child. If it is true that he sexually molested a 5 year old, then he needs to be charged with this crime. It's a shame that Arkansas only has a 3 year statue of limitations on reporting sexual assault. To me, there should be no limitations on when sexual assault can be reported.
My family did exactly what the Duggars did. We quietly dealt with it and moved on like nothing had ever happened. Josh was still unsupervised with his sisters, just like my brother was unsupervised with me for years. I remember being so afraid when my parents would say that they were going somewhere and my brother and I were staying at home. I knew that once they backed out of the driveway my brother would come at me like an animal. I was terrified of telling anyone and my brother never threatened me if I did tell unlike many victims. There were so many times when I wanted to say something, but I was so afraid I would get in trouble.
I want to scream to the people supporting Josh Duggar that by them supporting Josh they are telling every girl that has been molested that as long as the person asks for forgiveness then all should be forgiven. There were never any consequences for Josh after all of this came to light. There have been reports that he was sent to Little Rock for 4 months to do some construction and it sounds like they are trying to say that was his "treatment". And what about this police officer they reported all of this to. Seems odd that the same officer they reported to (a family friend supposedly) is now serving a 56 year prison sentence for child pornography.
I hate putting any energy into this "story" that is swirling around the Internet, but I felt like I needed to write about why this whole story upsets and bothers me. I can only imagine what the Duggar girls that were molested are feeling like. I have heard very little about them and all of the focus is on the perpetrator instead of the victims. I am almost 42 and I am still embarrassed over what happened to me. Even tonight before I decided to blog I was worried what some people that read this part of my history would think of me because of the abuse I went through. I know it's not my fault, but the fact that I am still embarrassed 30 years later shows that having your older brother sexually abuse you and make you do things you don't want to, affects you for your entire life. The Duggar girls (and the other victim) are going to live with this for the rest of their life and most likely their future sexual relationships are going to be affected because of what Josh did to them.
I am thankful because I have some beautiful people in my life that have helped me heal from the sexual abuse I suffered. It no longer affects me like it used to and I can go long periods of not even thinking about it. But I do think about it at times and I cry for the little Caroline that had to go through such hard times, but also proud that she did survive.
