While we were still in Hays, KS I called my Dad as well as my birth family to coordinate all of us having lunch. When I got off the phone, I looked at D and said...Oh my gosh, my birth and adoptive family are going to have lunch together. I knew it would go fine, but I didn't know how it would be for my birth Mom to meet my adoptive Dad. I spoke with my birth Mom to make sure she was okay with the meeting and the sweet person she is, she immediately said it was fine. I gotta say, my birth Mom is so wonderful and such a wonderful person. All my life I wondered what she was like and if I was like her. After meeting her, I know for sure that I got my tender and soft heart from her. And she is so wonderful with whatever plans I have for her and I when I come to town. Finding her again has been of the best things in my adult life. I know I have written about this before, but I seriously thought about her every single day since I was 10. I wanted to know who she was and what lead up to her placing me up for adoption. When you wish for something your whole life and then a Facebook private message makes that wish come true, it takes a while to realize what has happened. It was like I was finding myself all over again and at times it was very difficult. For the first 6 months I cried just about every day and if someone asked me about finding my birth family I would usually cry. I think it took me a full year to finally not cry about finding my Mama.
It was a long drive from Hays, KS to Kansas City. I think it was only 5 hours to drive, but I was so nervous about the upcoming lunch. I should also add that the day before I talked with my Dad and made sure he was okay with meeting my whole new family and he was wonderful and said that would be okay.
We got there first and then slowly everyone else showed up. There were 8 of us there and it was one of the greatest lunches. The whole lunch was easy conversation and everyone really seemed to get along and like each other. During lunch my Dad got everyones attention and pulled out a bracelet that belonged to my Grandma Murphy and he gave it to me. As soon as I saw the bracelet I was flooded with memories of my Grandma Murphy and I remember her wearing this exact bracelet. I think as a little girl I always hoped she would give it to me because it has about 10 little charms that each one represents something about Minnesota. My Grandma Murphy is so special to me and Minnesota is so special to me because of my Grandma Murphy. Getting this bracelet was like a gift from heaven. And for my Dad to present it to me in front of everyone was a wonderful thing. He said he knew she would want me to have it. My grandma Murphy was a very tiny woman so there is no way the bracelet would fit me now, so I have it in my wallet, so every time I open my wallet I am reminded of my Grandma Murphy.
It was hard leaving this lunch because I knew it was going to be a long time before I would be back to Kansas City. Moving cross county, unpacking and finding work doesn't leave much time to go back for a visit. Now that I won't be using any vacation time to visit NY, I am hoping to have longer visits in KC when I go home.
After lunch everyone came outside to meet (or see again) our cats, Lizzy and the birds. We all stood around for about 30 minutes talking and I could tell we were all wanting to just freeze time because the 8 of us were having such a good time together. Eventually I said..Okay, we really need to go this time. I hugged each of them and we got in our cars and we on our way east. As we were pulling out of the parking lot I saw the 6 of them walking to their cars talking. I smile and felt so happy that I was able to see all of them. Between my family in Kansas City and New York, I am so so lucky and LOVED. For so many years when I was by myself I felt so unlovable, so the universe is making up for those lonely times.
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