KC-PB-NY: It's Not Suppose to Be Easy.....

.......that's why it feels so f***ing good. (Awolnation)

It's been a tough week. When I got back from Kansas City I suddenly became very anxious and nervous about moving so far away. I would move to the moon with D if that's where we needed to live and I know it's all going to work out, but still, it's very scary for me. New York is a whole new world and a completely different lifestyle. I've always thought that once you are west of St. Louis it's as if everything slows down and life is at a normal (although fast at times) pace. In New York you have the option to do anything you want, at just about any hour of the day. We aren't living in New York City and things do close where we live, but drive 20 minutes either way and I am sure we could find something if we needed something. We are going from a town of 2500 to a town of 203,000....and don't forget about the other 7.3 million people around us on Long Island. I think both D and I hope to maintain somewhat of our laid back lifestyle. Early on when we were talking about moving I told her that we could turn our home in NY into a little oasis from the world right outside. With the house we bought, I know that is something we can do. We love the neighborhood that the house is in too. We drove around a little the last time we were there and when you leave our house if you go in one direction that leads you to town and just about any store that you could want and if you go in the other direction you continue into our neighborhood that is sidewalk lined with big beautiful trees. It's the best of both worlds.

So back to tough week....by Friday of last week I was so miserable and just didn't want to deal with anyone or anything. When I get scared or anxious, I tend to turn inward and escape into my own world. I start thinking about things and before I know it I am a complete mess. Last Saturday we went to Denver and I was not appropriate to be in public. My wife is a saint and put up with me and just let me work through whatever I was going through. I couldn't tell her what was wrong (because I didn't know) so she was wonderful and was patient until I could say what was upsetting me. She then got to work and helped me get back to a more peaceful center. Monday we decided to go to the hot springs and I know that helped and got some of those toxins out of my body. We plan on going back to the hot springs before we leave because I know we will both need it in a few weeks. D reminded me that there is lithium in the hot spring water, so that explains why I always come away so relaxed I am like a limp rag.

Since I was starting to feel better, I spent Tuesday and Wednesday packing everything I could. We are down to the stuff that we use on a regular basis for packing. There are zero options for take out so we are still having to use a lot of our kitchen things. After 5 years in a town with almost no restaurant options and one really bad grocery store, you run out of things to eat and to fix. This last month or so of us being here I feel like I am starving. I know all the good food that lies ahead of us in New York (another reminder to find a good gym there) but right now it seems so far away because nothing I am eating here in Colorado is satisfying my need for good food.

The last few months in pictures